Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I heard Justin Bieber is going transgender to become a man. He is going to use the name Bruce Jenner. He has already been awarded 936 man of the year awards too

   Ťhï§ ï§ hőw äň öřğą§m fəəļ§ whëņ pűť ïņťø wőřđ§.

   My friend came over today and left his new laptop on the damn floor. My dad not knowing how old fashion he is thought it was a scale. Conclusion: My dad weighs 980.34$ dollars.

   Christianity should not be cover for Douchebaggery.

   What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?...............wipes =)

   when your sitting at redlight, surrounded by people. Do you toss your McD's bag, old paper work and junk mail out the window? No?..then why the hell do you flick your half smoked cig out, like its acceptable behavior?! You jagoffs!!

   Breaking news - snow white has been thrown out of Disneyland after sitting on Pinocchio's face singing "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"

   kind of a big deal.

   What's the quickest way to lose 190 pound of ugly fat ? Divorce him

   what we have here...is a failure to communicate....

   Diamonds are a girl's best friend... Dogs are a mans best friend... Now, who's the smarter sex?

   I woke up this morning and my friend said "Did you sleep good?" I said "No. I made a few mistakes."

   i dont know much about pies, but daaaaamn you make my banana cream!

   Every American President inherits a sworn duty to protect Israel. Protecting Israel costs money and lives. Losing money and lives while trying to protect Israel can cost an American president his job. Its a viscous circle.

   that awkward moment when two peodos both pretending to be kids arrange a meeting over facebook and then meet up

   I rather be proven wrong scientifically than lied to religously.

   AC/DC concerts are where old people like to get together and show off their jean jackets.

   Here, put these floaties on your ankles ...

   NASCAR: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

   What's the big deal with the 2 idiots that snuck in for a white house party for a couple hours? I can't turn on the news without seeing them. "W" pulled the same trick in 2000 and stayed for 8 years and he didn't get that kind of coverage!