Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Floozies are always talking about their hot bodies and cute faces but never about their brain. 
If Easter Egg hunting was an Olympic event, I would have at least 4 Gold Medals by now. I'm not sure why it is, but I have this extraordinary sixth sense.
Hell just installed bunk beds - I heard Osama bin Laden got the bunk under Saddam Hussein....
procrastination personified.
Why do I feel like the garbage can in my house is a game of Jenga & nobody told me we were playing??
Lazy Rule Nos 7, 8 & 9: Errr, oh Just use Rule No.1 !!!
wondering if there's a business in Facebook psych evaluation? after reading status after status you would think instead if it saying "what's on your mind?" it says "how crazy do you want your friends to think you are?"
After a long first game the Cubs seem to have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, Congrats to Ryan Dumpster, 6 runs in 6 innings not a bad start..
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
At this rate, the government should start up a fuel stamp program
you cant beat the stupid out of people but sometimes its funy to try.
wonders if regular squirrels get mad at their parents when they see a flying squirrel?
Few things broadcast one's idiocy like driving a car that has wheels that look like they cost more than the car itself
It's always your favorite sins that do you in
Real recognize real and you don't look familiar to me!
Waiting for you to find me hiding in the closet so you can pee yourself when I jump out screaming
its hard "not to judge a book by its cover" when its barely covered, orange, wearing pounds of makeup, fake eyelashes, and bleach blonde.
needs an elf to wrap presents…..oh and do the laundry too while your at it.
Since saying "Happy New Year" doesn't seem to give people much luck, she's going to say "Have a bad New Year" and turn thier luck around!
Has used many of these's [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] to help women further their education..or say that was what I was told at the time... 