Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I had to take a lie detector test at a job interview once. No I didn't. 
Never underestimate a Cat 1 Hurricane: I've never seen a situation involving one cat, water & a blow dryer end well..
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don't think soooo.
If you "have to meet with the NRA to discuss whether people on the terrorist watch list should be able to buy guns", then that's a case of the tail wagging the dog and you are showing you are owned by the gun lobby.
I imagine a two year old having a temper tantrum as being the next statue erected honoring all those brave men and women who refuse to wear a mask.
Behind every beautiful girl is the ugly relationship that made her scared to love again
Are you single? No I am Album.
There is no such thing as 'American English'. There is English and there are mistakes.
First Paul Walker now Nelson Mandela please let the third person be Lil Wayne
I broke up with my cross eyed boyfriend he was seeing 2 people at once
Everyone's all, 'OMG! Snow!', and I'm just over here like, 'Hey, tonight Obama is going to officially announce that he's going to overtly rule by decree.'
When I squirt on you, consider yourself baptized in my love
Oral in the morning.... because your breath smells like ass anyway.
...nice mouth on that Palin kid: I know somebody who needs to buy a new keyboard 'cuz the S, T, F, and you are completely worn out!!
supposed to cross the street with the skeleton. But he didn't have the guts
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
just heard Miley Cyrus is releasing a new song and dedicating it to Perez Hilton...it's called "Party In The Cell Block A"......
now knows what happened to Michael Jackson. South Africa made thousands of vuvuzela horns out of him.
I'm beginning to hate these whiny liberal groups!!!!!! Always crying about something.
How stupid is it when someone removes you as a friend, you ask them why and they say, "Why do you think, moron?"... Um, if I knew why, then would I be asking you dumbass? 