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At what age does stupidity wear off? 
I blame this winter weather on Idina Menzel.....
Tried to do my facebook movie and just got a message telling me it had been nominated for a Razzie Award.
Don't you mean it's Jay's finale, finale Tonight Show NBC?
So, I take it mushrooms are acceptably the norm in Russia... Well played Olympics
myself. Sometimes I get ahead of
Happy Valentine's Day...this statement just costs me $1.50 per word...thanks Hallmark Card store...
Valentine Day weekend is over. I think Helen Keller plays the role of cupid in my love life.
Before facebook, I use to wait about a week for Walgreens to develop my pictures, to show my friends how good I lok in the Bathroom
Fellaz; there is a way to check out women without them knowing it. Learn it.
I bet that Magneto guy in X-Men has the best collection of fridge magnets.
happy sperm donor day
hey dad, thanks for using a cheap condom...mom did the rest of the work
Growing up means not asking for advice you're not going to take.
'm totally excited to hang out, again, too! Who is this? -Text from a slut
My only regrets involve a Klondike bar
My version of camping involves the bathroom floor & a hand towel for a blanket.
'Spread the joy' is an excellent way to ask someone to open their legs.
what's an ideal weight for a mother in law? 3 pounds including the urn.
In Sweden, the word for marriage and the word for poison is the same, and its spelled "gift". 