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If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? 
Crappy Ending (n): When a 45-minute massage ends with a police investigation.
Dear you people. Why are you crying about the Home Alone 2 cut which was done in 2014???? Are you people really proud of being stupid?
Passed out at 9pm. Woke up 10:30pm to sound of wife's vibrator. Went back to sleep.
Today marks the anniversary of the death of The Notorious BIG. Dinner tonight will consist of t-bone steak, cheese, eggs and Welch's grape.
I'm pretty Fry for a Rice guy.
I always feel a little bad for a guy when I notice he missed a belt loop on his pants... or lost his family in a fire.
Hi ho hi ho, it's off to work I go, to bust my a$$ for very little cash, hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho
thinks that if atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.
Yay NY!!! Now, if the gays could only legally smoke pot at their wedding...
Duude girls don't poop. Period, they just dont!
HAPPY HOT MAMA DAY... to all the MILFs out there! :)
I don't think an athiest has the right to listen to "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey!! Go listen to "Nothing Happens When You Die" and whine on your message boards!!
With a tv rating of 31.6 million. Average yard per pass was 31.6 yards and total yards was 316. Id say tebow is on to something. Dont believe those stats. Look it up.....
I think the guy that misspelled "Ghost" actually wanted to write "Goat's soap"
You never realize what you have till it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
This valentines I'm getting my gf a dozen marijuana plants,better then roses right.!!
When LeBron James gets a mosquito bite, he looks around for a ref.
Change your FB profile picture to a hot pin up model/actress from whenever. The goal is not to see an ugly face on Facebook until December 7th. Support those that aren't getting any.
Why the hell didn't the Hamburglar ever steal and eat Mayor McCheese? I mean he was, after all, an ENORMOUS burger. 