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Search Messages:
"Old people need to urinate all the time... That's why they call it the golden years" 
A loser and everything I post is stolen from "Text From Last Night"
working on his six pack, of beer that is!
I bought a treadmill today.It's giving me a run for my money
out cow died so we don't need your bull
sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.
Spys search social networking sites like Facebook for info. It would be great if we could just start posting all kinds of bogus info just to mess with their searches!
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.
"Wonder Bread , Fluff and Skippy" a timeless combination
thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.
Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.
99% of all women leave there mouth open while applying the makeups, 1 % dont have mirrors
There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough.
...just got back from embarrassing himself in front of the Queen. She really doesn't have any idea what a "tea bag" is, and now I'm not allowed withing 1,000 meters of her...
kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.
defeat is not the worst of failures, not to have tried is the true failure!
654 women were admitted into the hospital, and 542 died with a heart attack! Now tell me who in the hell spreaded the rumor that I'm getting married? x(
at the Library waiting for the opportune moment to fire my air horn
aim for the moon, if you miss youll be among the stars"..then pressure & lack of o2 will make your as@hole explode out of your nostrils.
Poker face? Yeah I would and then some. 