Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
going off the rails on a crazy train 
Jesus is on Twitter, but unfortunately he's only got twelve followers.
Roses are Red, Winters are Cold, Now get on your knees and Do what you're told!
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did
was also once considered a "big f**king deal" by Vice President Joe Biden.
Ok ladies, you've had your protest in Washington DC, enough, now get back to work, cleaning and cooking.
Breaking news: George Zimmerman to throw out first pitch at tonights All star game
Some girls are like a blunt... Hit it a couple times, then pass it to your buddy.
Atheist don't hate unicorns or fairys or leprechauns because you can't hate something that isn't real. Atheist hate God because He is real.
me:" cant come in to work today. I slipped in a snail trail and broke me ankle" boss:"on a nature hike?" me:"no walked in front of a theater playing 50 shades of gray"
What you call vocabulary, others may call jargon, gibberish, lingo or slang...but its all the same to me.
FACT: Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
I like my women the same way I like my suits...Double-Breasted!
After the lost of Whitney Houston in the bath tub, one would think Bobbie Kristina would...perhaps stay clear of tubs and spend more time in the shower instead.
Morley Safer contributes exponentially more to societal advancement, and gets only a few mentions in the press. Prince, who basically was a fruitcake who could play a guitar solo, is still getting press.
I was afraid the first time I went parachuting. The instructor said if I didn't jump, he'd stick his manhood where the sun doesn't shine. I jumped. A little.
I chose not to drive the Lambo today.... because I don't own one
I like my wife how I like my girlfriend....horny and home every other day.
peta=people eating tasty animals.
Hummer: The best way to prove that you can have money AND bad taste. 