Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4529 of 5594

   messageicon snow!! where as..all lawns are created equal
←Rate | 01-21-2012 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men in my family don't talk about our underwear. We're the thong silent type.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 21:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I choose you over my sleep, you better feel special.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soulja boy in prison will really help is career. For once he will have bars.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the biggest Wal-Mart of my life. There's *weather* in here.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 17:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm damaged but I'll manage.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 05:58 by fefe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best way to describe me: beautiful on the inside and outside. Mainly outside.
←Rate | 10-30-2011 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can understand Kim wanting a divorce, I mean I thought he was Blake Griffin too
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon remember in grade school when we used our finger to spray away the cooties from a chair?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a Sunday afternoon, if I dont wake up with a headache, well that just means I was outta liquor or cash...
←Rate | 01-29-2012 18:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon So far today I have gotten out of bed, washed and dressed myself and left the house. That's it. Must try harder.
←Rate | 01-31-2012 12:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tried the new fire and ice condoms last night...must have put it on inside out cause when it was over she rolled over and started snoring and I wanted to talk.
←Rate | 02-05-2012 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tragedy. A hole has formed in the elbow of my favorite comfy shirt. Do I wait for Bono to call, or reach out to him directly?
←Rate | 02-08-2012 10:56 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I think I couldn't possibly be any lazier, I surprise myself.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 04:14 by CindyAnn Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can let yourself back.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 13:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought LL in LL Cool J meant :adies Love....it obviously means "Lip Licker" cuz that's all he does after he finishes a sentence!! Gotta love the Grammy's!!
←Rate | 02-12-2012 22:53 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentine Eve: worst time of the year.....constantly remind how single you are or stuck with this looser cupid picked out for you.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 21:26 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife's going to be happy with tonight's planned tv. There's going to be balls moving all the screen. Champions League starts again tonight
←Rate | 02-14-2012 07:59 by NB Comments (0)  


   messageicon bums would prob do better recyclin their shoppin carts instead of cans
←Rate | 02-18-2012 20:45 by Tazor Comments (0)  


   messageicon hindsight is 20/20...we should have registered at home depot instead of macys
←Rate | 02-22-2012 08:04 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left