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never questions authority, he annoys authority. More effect, less effort. 
He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”
Fast food drive thru 5 me 0, can you get my order right please!
so you press the button to hail the elevator, when it doesn't come we press the button again. does a second press hail the elevator faster, if not, why do we do it
not easily offended and easily offends. Life is so unfair...
When is that 1/2 man on '2 and and 1/2 Men' going to officially become a man?
Solemnly Swears That He/She Is Up To No Good
I'm a middle-of-the-road kind of guy. Maybe that's why I get honked at all the time.
the man from nantucket.
When I'm texting with a girl I like and inviting her to join in my plans, I like to end the message with, "Want to come?" There's nothing like the inducement to get her to say yes.
Creepy drunken compliments are sometimes the price we pay for freedom!
can someone give me directions to the humor section please?
it 1 tap or 2 to request toilet paper from the next stall?
Those that are often disgusted by others are usually most disgusted with themselves. But will rarely admit it.
With great power comes great responsibility... but... with great amounts of beer comes a great excuse...
You never learn anything by doing it right.
Not all men are dogs...most of them are puppies.
Happy Birthday Benjamin Franklin!..to celebrate your birthday I'm leaving all the lights in the house...thanks again for all your great discoveries and inventions!....especially electricity
I am still wondering when exactly do I become an adult?
My sofa loves playing hide n' seek with the remotes, clever ba$tard always wins too. 