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Bathroom wall: Can I get a witness? Written below: I don't know. Are you going to do anything worth watching? 
I wonder if it bothers Morpheus that his daughter's job is to smile for the camera and take it in the rabbit hole
resides on the top of Mountain Dew.
according to VH1 calling women's boobs chesticles makes me undateable.what a bummer
You must been born on the freeway .cuz that's where most accidents happen.
If a woman wants a man who can take orders, they should marry a waiter!
Google's PacMan Game Cost the World $120 Million... WTF.. I love it...
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.
has come up with a solution to the oil spill .........auqaman(finally he can be useful)
we all live on the same planet but we're all in our own worlds..
thinks that hard work never killed anybody, but wht take the chance?
's wondering where Chinese gets their English names from
I'm going to recreate the human centipede in my basement. I'm just going to use a bunch of scotch tape though.
Our company had a chili cook-off today at 11:30. The "crop dusting" began about 2 hours later
If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first
i wonder if they have a pill for premature procrastination
Just downloaded the new FIFA to his Laptop, tried to open the file and it said it was corrupt.
now lets not exaggerate on how good, Dear john was...
Quick tip, when doing a print screen of Stalker Check for your facebook pictures, don't leave porn in in your Internet tabs...
You should never use cowboy builders but after what is going on at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi you should steer well clear of Indian ones too :) 