Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
47% of Detroit residents cannot read. No kidding, they would have read the signs welcoming them to Detroit and leave. 
I love the look of sad laker fans! D-rose is the new league superstar, go sit down Kobe!
If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk!
Sometimes I cook with wine, and sometimes I even add it to the food
How is it my cat is only one foot tall but his azz is always at eye level?
The GOP slams Obama's Martha's Vineyard vacation. They'd denounce it from the floor of Congress, but they're all on vacation...
Doomsday Tip: If you're the last person alive & want to read every book in a library but your glasses break, head to the audiobook section.
See Nude pictures of me → (Click here)
OMFG!! The Titanic sank!! The Titanic sank!!! - My status from 100 years ago today.
My Native American name would be "Tweets While Driving".
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now."
Now that one Kim is gone, Kardashian can go too
Next time a girl pisses you off... Just tell her your guna slap the sh!t out of her t!tt!es.. Wait for her facial reaction to change.. And then walk away like a BOSS!
Oh no! They blacklisted Pepe Le'Pew. Now where am I gonna get my "moves"?
Wife: do these jeans make me look fat? Husband: nope it's not the jeans
Ladies, keep it smooth please. No guy wants to floss his teeth while he's down there
Has anyone even considered that the missing Malaysian airliner just may have been Wonder Woman's invisible jet?
My reaction to the royals William and Kate visiting Australia is the same reaction I had to their kid being born. I couldn't give a f you c k!!
Ladies;if a guy invites you to his place and u're like..."hope we not fucking" there's a Special place for you in hell
Looks like Eric Cantor was defeated by some Brat. 