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watching The Biggest Loser. I'd really love to be on that show. Not so much to lose weight.. but just to have Jillian ride me like a donkey while talking dirty to me.. Yeahh baby! 
Dora the explorer is here illegally
what is the difference between a rooster and a $lut? one goes c0ck a doodle doo and the other one goes, "any c0ck'll do"
hates Pro Football, but I watched Betty White and Abe Vigoda in a backyard football game....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit. Not like the NFL players.
free everyday it's in the constitution
iAm so tired of hearing about stupid iPhone apps...
A new study shows the 'doggie position' is the most common sexual position used by married couples... the Husband sits up and begs while the Wife rolls over and plays dead.
I don't think allowing the mentally I'll people to obtain guns is making America great. Now I don't feel safe anymore.
Now that I am woke and want to make amends for my hateful act of being born white, I want reparations for all the money I spent at Pottery Barn over the years.
The Weeknd should change his name to Monday Morning 'cause that's how bad he s_cks.
Amazon, quit fluctuating your prices all the time. sincerely- your customer!
If you think Amy Schumer is either hot or funny, you're what's wrong with America....
Pretending that looters, rioters, assaulters and arsonists are "peaceful protesters" does not make you look like a sympathizer. It makes you look like an id!ot..
boys are like slinkies...useless but fun to watch fall down stairs
It's ok Sweden, a silver is still better than what the Americans got.
Ever since I found those "Free Kittens" ads on Craigslist it's saved me a lot of money feeding my boa constrictor.
You wanted Obama's birth certificate...well we want Sarah Palin's High School diploma
Hey, Windows 8..... YOU SUCK... I should have bought a Mac...
This coconut water tastes like I'm a stuck-up snob who enjoys wasting money on health scams... Acai smoothies, anyone?
BREAKING NEWS: Vladimir Putin moves two Boy Scout Troops to the Russian/Polish boarder. France surrendered 