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My daughter has just taken two black guys up to her bedroom to study together. From the sounds of it they're getting every revision question right. 
here, reminding all of you, obey gravity, it's the law.
had a dream I was stranded on a deserted island with Dracula and Nancy Pelosi. Pretty spooky! One is a evil being that is pale and will drain the life out of you.....And the other one's a vampire
If the CPA's are ok with your tax return, and the IRS is ok with your tax return, why is it so important for the LameStreamMedia to see your tax return? #WitchHunt #FakeNews #Haters
Osama Binladen.. comming soon to a beach near you...
Sept. 11th (NY) ... Jan. 11th (HAITI) ... March 11th (JAPAN) .... Luke 21:10-11 : How many times do I have to see this? Hey wingnuts, get your dates right before you post !! Google Haiti's earthquake and check out the date! 12 Jan 2010 ( NOT 11 Jan).
filling out an application for Obama's death panel. I would like to be a senior member of the panel when Pelosi's number is due.
We were not created! We evolved! Religion is for people who can't comprehend such a thing.
I got recognized once. It was at my friend's house. He was all, "Hey, you really should call first." So cool.
The iPhone 5 better be waterproof, fireproof, crack proof, dirt proof, bulletproof, and be able to charge itself and cook for me.
tried to kill a spider by drowning it, but it looked at me and asked, "Where's the soap?"
our brain is divided into 2 parts (i.e) left and right...there's nothing right at the left side and nothing left in the right side...
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous.
The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.
The only acceptable excuse for not being drunk on a Saturday night should be poverty.
I wonder where women without thigh gaps put their hands when it’s really cold.
Nicki Minaj sits in front of a mirror, slowly removing her makeup to reveal Ja Rule. A single tear rolls down his cheek.
Apparently Ariel Castro recently changed his Facebook status to 'Swinger' and now he wont return my phone calls!
Holy Water Recipe: Boil the "Hell" out of it!!
She walked into the bar like she owned the place. She was like, very concerned with potential health and fire code violations. It was weird 