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it's tourettes you Fu*king Dumba$$ 
Plus-Sized is just a politically correct term for fat.
just not the same since that house fell on my sister
wondering if my bed was a circle would I still wake up on the wrong side of the bed?
..is so blonde,she thought a thesaurus was a dinosaur.
How to eat an Oreo: First you twist it...... Oh it broke...
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
I feel bad for my american friends... they only have 2 idiots to choose from in their elections...50/50 chance of getting it wrong...
Independence Day was just a fake holiday created by the independence companies to sell more independence.
There is a good reason why they call it XBOX ONE; You take ONE look at it and go and buy yourself a PS4!
I wish I could afford an Iphone5 like that girl in front of me in line on food stamps
a pocket full of sunshine.
Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack? If not, you're wondering now. Have a nice day ..
behind every sucessful woman der is a man staring at her ass
Hard math problem. Studies have shown that the people who solve this usually have an IQ of 120 or more. If 2+3=10, 6+5=66, 7+9=112, 12+8=240 then.. 14+3=?
Miami Heat Fan: "You wait, you watch and see next season we're gonna do this we're gonna do that" ...... Still Waiting lmao! Clevelands just as good without Lebron
Being a doctor who performs circumsion, I took all the foreskin tips to a taxadermist who made me a wallet. Great thing if you rub it a certain way it turns into a suitcase.
3 main causes of war: Greed, Racism, Religion. I'll stay away from each.
needs some more girl's phone numbers so far I have my mom's, grandma's, and aunt's.
thinks that a decapitated Frog looks hotter than the Jonas Brothers 