Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
If you thought Han Solo was cool you should see his brother Guitar 
Not to be outdone. Caitlyn Jenner announces it is pregnant!
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
Moron is more of a complement, compare to the other terms people use.
The ocean is so deep that most people can't fathom it.
My dog Max has a problem with chasing people on a bike. It finially reached a point yesterday where I had to take his bike away.
Yeah, the coach doing cocaine makes the NFL look so innocent huh libtards?
I don't mind going to work every day and working with a bunch of a**holes. I'm a proctologist.
Don't sweat the small stuff. In fact, don't sweat the big stuff either. Stop sweating on everything. That's gross.
Spring is acting like my drug dealer!! "Where you at man?" "I am about to pull up" 1 hour later "Where you at man?" "I am right around the corner"
She's complicated? No kidding! So is my can opener.
I'm a nice sociopath. You can trust me.
Don't take it personal. I gave up on people in general years ago.
I didn’t call you fat; I said proper wood furniture normally doesn’t scream like that
In Japan they read sentences from the right to the left. Kind of like how Americans read a menu.
There’s nothing better than driving fast on a warm beautiful morning and listening to loud music. Well...sex, food and money are better but I have none of those. I’ll take what I can get.
If Jack Black and Jack White had a baby together, what name would they use?
What do woman and police cars have in common? The both make a lot of noise when they are coming.
Just once I would like to cross my I's and dot my T's
hey! hey! hey! - Bill Cosby after spiking a woman's drink. 