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I've recently purchased a hand held blow horn to use on drivers who text and drive. So far I have converted four drivers into pedestrians who now walk an text. 
It gives me collywobbles to admit this but most of what I post is purely flibbertigibbet. It's not that I think you to be a gobemouche, i'm just a pettifogger and a slangwanger. I'm not a snollygoster, I just love to bloviate. Thanks for understanding!
Denims are my favourite hand sanitizers.
I bet you can't say "cops" without moving your mouth!
if the college you went to has a tv commercial, you didnt go to college
a hangover is the wrath of grapes
I am woman. Hear me ignore.
Welcome to San Francisco, where the weather is nice and the people are gay!
Let’s all join hands and remember the Golden Rule of Life: Do not feed the trolls.
What if the real Slim Shady is paraplegic?
PSY will be having a concert in the Philippines... WTF!! is he gonna sing Gangnam Style for 2 hours???
pedophile: Get in the van I have candy. me: No! pedofile:I have free wifi too! me:Where would you like me to sit?
Great, now Ray Lewis has killed more people AND won more Super Bowl rings than me. :(
Keep it down kids....Aunt Minnie is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
I just walked up to a guuy with an eye patch and asked him was it really fun and games at that point
Spooning...the precursor to forking.
So they found Richard III under a parking lot. We wil probably find Hoffa under a church.
FYI: Donkeys just call them hats.
"Sometimes, women are so sensitive! Very nicely, I asked the woman sitting next to me if I could smell her armpits. "NO!" she exclaimed. I said, "Well, it must be your feet then." Now she's looking for something large to hit me with ツ
USA is home of the Free? it's expensive to live here, my taxes just doubled!!! 