Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Has anyone else noticed that the sign "&" looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?
←Rate | 02-20-2016 05:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What?!?! When you miss someone's call but you call them back in 0.44735624 seconds and they don't answer.
←Rate | 02-20-2016 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guns don't kill people, Dads with pretty daughters kill people.
←Rate | 02-23-2016 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 96% of online doctors on websites say your good grammar is essential so they can properly diagnose your medical problem.
←Rate | 02-23-2016 01:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when you realize you might have made a mistake letting your 5 year old watch The Walking Dead....
←Rate | 02-24-2016 03:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: The universe is made up of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
←Rate | 02-24-2016 03:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So it's Hump Day and it isn't raining or snowing, does that mean it's a Dry Hump Day?
←Rate | 02-24-2016 14:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She cried and then she hugged me. FML.
←Rate | 02-27-2016 19:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jack Daniels gives you the courage to talk to attractive women, disables your genitals.
←Rate | 02-28-2016 02:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder. This figure translates to 57.7 million people. When they count Hillary's votes and they total 57.7 million don't say that I didn't call that...
←Rate | 02-28-2016 06:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where was this Mitt Romney during the last general election? Had he been like this he would be running for re-election this time
←Rate | 03-03-2016 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never want to go bungie jumping. Broken rubber brought me into this world, and I don't want to give it a chance to take me out.
←Rate | 03-04-2016 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't know what you have until it's gone. For example, toilet paper.
←Rate | 03-04-2016 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bernie Sanders got so excited about the hashtag #BoobsForBernie, it's actually a photo of a breastfeeding mother at one of his rallies. Not a Girls Gone Wild Spring Break edition video.
←Rate | 03-05-2016 15:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First rule of Cuddle Club: It better lead to rough sex or you're out of the cuddle club.
←Rate | 03-05-2016 16:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like an old wise man once said, Be like a duck, calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath....
←Rate | 03-06-2016 08:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think I will get a night job being a cuddler. After 8 hrs the $ex is free. . .
←Rate | 03-08-2016 18:47 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only if some people knew how silly, stupid and ridiculous they look while holding a selfie stick...
←Rate | 03-09-2016 14:29 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "PROVE IT!!" I yell from the back of the church.
←Rate | 03-10-2016 14:45 Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Like" this if you know someone who is alive today because you are just too darn lazy to kill them....
←Rate | 03-11-2016 04:44 Comments (0)  



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