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I didn't say it was your fault...I said I was going to blame you. 
there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs.
really getting sick of all these so-called "Twilight" Rip-off shows or shows that had the vampire idea but realised it after the series. How's come when "Avatar" came out. they didn't bring back the Smurfs?"
are the watermelons being sold outside suppose to be better than the one's at the grocery store???
The old believe everything, the middle- aged suspect everything, the young know everything
BP says it will emerge from the current situation "smaller and wiser." I assume sea life will emerge "shinier and more waterproof."
The vet confirmed my dog is now officially lame. I'll start walking her in Ed Hardy gear then
finds it interesting that most of the girls in the sex addiction meetings are either Pentecostal or Mennonite's
always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
They say that if life throws you lemons, throw them back or make lemonade. But them b*stards never said anything about if life kicks you in the balls. Yeah, there's no recovery from that one!
doing an environmental studies course and needs ideas on how to save trees. Answers on a postcard please.
I don't know how to do my own taxes, but I CAN name the brand of cereal just by hearing it being poured into a bowl in the other room
traveling through a maze.. In other words he's amazing
If at first you don't succeed..... consider the fact that you may $%&! Suck!
When you r right no one remembers... But When you r wrong no one forgets..!
I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
wants to buy skittles and randomly throw them at people yelling taste the rainbow.
likes to send facebook status updates from my phone sometimes just to make it look like I left the house that day.
Sometimes when a person tells you "I've got your back..." they forget to add "...in my crosshairs."
in your closet, watching you sleep.... 