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Girl just asked me to talk dirty so I described the space behind my fridge. 
'Love thy neighbor.' aka don't put a password on your damn WiFi.
says, "sex is like a gas station - sometimes you get excellent service, sometimes you get very poor service, and sometimes you just have to settle for self-service"
I would slap you but that would be animal abuse
I was just fired from my job as an ad executive for Nike. Apparently putting the 'Just do it' label on the crotch is considered "offensive and inappropriate."
My girl jus told me that she is going to start "act like a woman and think like a man" so I guess that means when she is in the kitchen making a sandwich she is going to be thinking about sex!
M C SQUARE is Einstein's Rap Name.
ti esrever dna ʇı puɐ ʇı dılɟ uɐɔ
. . . I know I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know I'm here.
If there's one thing I definitely couldn't live without, it would probably be my body.
The jungle is only fun when you are on top of the food chain
At first we were just going to stay home at Intercourse, PA but then my wife said she wanted a vacation out of the states so now we are going to Phucket Thailand
# # When it comes to poker...a good deal depends on a good deal.
dreaming the dream but living living the nightmare
Most of the fun things I've done have never been smart ideas.
Why does Samsung think I want a TV that can update my Facebook status?
Do yourself a favor and stay off of a scale for at least a month! Trust me...
Five bucks says I'm totally broke.
YOU! Out of the Gene Pool.
advising others to be careful!! I am not currently medicated!! 