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Go Home Eclipse!! You are Drunk!! 
The Quickest way to get a person to call you back. Take a bath.
In horror movies, why does everyone reach for the doorknob in super slow motion? It not like the killer behind the door won't notice.
Alcohol and calculas dont mix. Never drink and derive.
Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.
waiting for Godot.
thinks the world is her oyster. Now if only she could find a shucking knife.....
no expectations = no dissapointments
ıs ndsıpǝ poʍu
handing out sence of humor transplants and you guys are first in line
had some eggs at a place called Sam N Ella's this morning. I'm not feeling too well now
just measured Jared from Subways commercials waist size he actually got bigger
heading down to Fraggle Rock.....
When your a standup comedian your not going to make everyone laugh. When your up there on stage half the audience should be laughing, and half the audience should be horrified.
can you make a caption that I can actually read ?
people.with over attitude mid- finger salute..!!:D
saying of course, the Squirrels!! gotta save the Squirrels..those flying ones are some cool gliding rodents
No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off "I Don't Like Mondays" for 30 years.
the victim of the rules he/she lives by!
so busy , in fact I have more on than a redundant stripper. 