Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Some of you all went from homemade, natural, all organic cleaning products to Clorox real fast...
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:39 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t call it “pandemic” unless it’s from the Pandemic region of France, otherwise it’s just Sparkling Flu
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A priest rabbi and a nun walk into a ...Nevermind. Bars closed.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 12:13 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon And in other news, Keith Richards has tested positive for everything but COVID-19.
←Rate | 04-16-2020 17:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My super power is picking up all the laundry in one arm then bending over for 5 minutes picking up that one sock that keeps falling out.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 13:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm terrified when I hear something was made with "secret sauce."
←Rate | 10-03-2011 17:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have my doubts about this "smart water," considering how easily it's captured and bottled.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Late Night Ponderings: I always wonder what the nurses reaction would be like after I leave a half eaten sandwich in a coma patients hand.
←Rate | 05-28-2016 01:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about buying happiness. Try renting or leasing it to see if it's what you really want.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 17:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Discovery Channel - Conspiracies and Myths "Finding The Tooth Fairy" is on...... I hope they find her, she owes me money.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 15:39 by TD Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are ever out in public and you see misbehaved kids running around - start running with them it really brings the nonsense to a halt.
←Rate | 10-15-2019 04:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was as optimistic as the wives that believe they can change their husbands into the men they thought they married.
←Rate | 10-23-2019 04:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn, I wish I had a structured settlement so I could get cash now!
←Rate | 10-30-2019 13:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say "I'm fine" while squirting a can of whipped cream straight into your mouth, people won't believe you but they will also leave you alone.
←Rate | 11-03-2019 06:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson are going to merge and become one company. Their new name will be "Titty Titty Bang Bang."
←Rate | 11-17-2019 16:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock thats humerus no, I’m not sorry
←Rate | 11-18-2019 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know the Boeing 767 is made up of 3.1 million parts from 800 different manufacturers, each of whom was the lowest bidder? Anyways, have safe flight when you head home for Thanksgiving!
←Rate | 11-22-2019 10:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Divorce is never funny. Unless it’s happening to your ex who got engaged six weeks after you broke up.
←Rate | 01-14-2020 06:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally left the plunger in the toilet, so yeah the wife is wide awake now.
←Rate | 01-15-2020 06:40 Comments (0)  



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