punkie Funny Status Messages

   Monday sounds alot like "Mundane"...just sayin...:(

   New concept: Thinking of writing a book that will be nowhere near as good as the movie.

   HEY! Dude at the crosswalk, hitting that button repeatedly doesn't make the light change any faster. STOP DOING THAT!

   I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'

   Dear razor companies: 4 blades, seriously? If you really wanna impress me you will invent a shaving hatchet!

   Call me childish, but I can't help chuckling to myself whenever I see a senior citizen point at something using their middle finger.

   Dear children,stop wondering what I am. I'm a star! You just said it like two seconds ago. Sincerely, Twinkle Twinkle

   I don't accept blame well, but it's not my fault.

   You know you were raised Catholic when you're watching Star Wars and hear "the force be with you" and you respond "and also with you."

   FaceBook account for sale....Friends included!

   USA & Pakistan's relationship status= It's complicated

   <--still thinks that chick on the Progressive Insurance commercials is HAWT!

   He was suckled by hyenas and had only cobras for playmates and now he's in hell. Let's pose his bullet-holed head for a round-the-world-see-we-really-did-it photo op and get busy with the real business of America - planning our summer vacations!

   Just poked about 20 people in about 20 sec's flat... Whew... Blows on finger....

   thinking about landscaping the back yard with fake Easter grass.

   When you start complaining that all your dreams have not come true, you have to realize that not all your nightmares came true either.

   I think it's about time we, as a sophisticated society, start getting birds to wear diapers.

   When someone say's "Let's do lunch", what they mean is "I don't care if I ever see your sorry azz again."

   NOTE TO MYSELF: "The security code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card."

   Do you know why rednecks like to "do it" doggy style? So they can both watch NASCAR.