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doc Noland Funny Status Messages
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I'm too tired to order anything for dinner so I guess I'll starve
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07-16-2017 22:25 by
Doc Noland
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My body is so exhausted but my mindset is wide awake.
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05-05-2017 13:35 by
Doc Noland
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I think my song is "Let It Go" because whenever I mention love, they sing it.
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04-13-2017 15:16 by
Doc Noland
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Has found love on facebook. Shes from Bangladesh and "wan day will reash amehica."
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03-31-2017 13:49 by
Doc Noland
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My gums are throbbing, someone somewhere just spilled their whiskey!
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03-13-2017 15:27 by
Doc Noland
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I ate all my meals today without using a single utensil
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03-13-2017 15:26 by
Doc Noland
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Love Sunday bourbon but sometimes "message failed to send," is your four leaf clover
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03-13-2017 15:25 by
Doc Noland
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If your boyfriend wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day
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03-02-2017 06:11 by
Doc Noland
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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What I ate on Fat Tuesday, Gave me Diabetes Type 2.
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03-01-2017 08:36 by
Doc Noland
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I was never insane except that temporary moment when my heart was exposed.
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02-27-2017 12:01 by
Doc Noland
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i don't want a girlfriend I want an accomplice
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12-07-2016 11:59 by
Doc Noland
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My elf on the shelf is just a credit card bill I move around to pretend I dealt with it.
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11-25-2016 14:36 by
Doc Noland
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I just apologized to a bug for killing it and I instantly became a Canadian citizen.
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10-04-2016 06:33 by
Doc Noland
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Frankly Auto-correct, I am getting tired of your shirt!
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10-04-2016 06:30 by
Doc Noland
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I'm just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
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08-25-2016 08:29 by
Doc Noland
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We didn't have presidential candidates like this back when people could smoke at their desks.
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07-07-2016 22:13 by
Doc Noland
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Cant, made plans to have insomnia again tonight.
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06-15-2016 09:29 by
Doc Noland
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Dont get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
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06-15-2016 09:27 by
Doc Noland
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I wish I was cool enough to post pictures of my food on Facebook
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06-15-2016 09:26 by
Doc Noland
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I would say "I hope your well", but that would be a lie
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06-15-2016 09:26 by
Doc Noland
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