The FRED Funny Status Messages

   I'm doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!

   Former Olympic Skater Nancy Kerrigan was arrested today on a DUI.....She blew 8.6, 7.8, 5.6, 6.7 and the cop.

   Joe Paterno's doctors also said they wish they could have done more.

   Sending my regards to Seal. Hopefully, this won't scar him for life.

   What's the difference between Penn State and the State Penn??? Sandusky will be catching not pitching!

   Can we get some National Guardsmen from the Kent State area to Penn State ASAP?

   It makes sense that Cain can't recognize these women, since at the time he was pushing their heads down to his crotch.

   its National Coming Out Day. What ever you do don't take that call from Grandma. Trust Me on this.

   My family was too poor to buy hooked on fonics.

   like a good neighbor, state farm I there...with halle berry butt naked feeding me peeled grapes!

   Today is National Facebook Unfriend Day. I hope you make it to tomorrow as my friend. I just want you to know I'm pulling for you.

   I'm watching extreme makeover: home edition in an attempt to invoke an emotion response from my cold and numb soul.

   illegal touching, number 7 Offense.

   How do I set my Lazer Printer to Stun?

   Fat bottomed girls, You make the rockin' world go round.

   For the Mean girl who cut me off, gave me the finger & rolled down your window just to call me A-hole. Next time you should think before you act. You were pulling into your Driveway. Now you have Egg on your face & your car & your house. =)

   why does ben rothlisberger cry after sex? ... because the pepper spray hurts so much.

   Look down ur shirt and spell ATTIC.

   My safe word is blueberry pancakes. Whoops! this isn't MySpace.

   I like fat girls, they need lovin' too. Unfortunately most Guys won't repost this.