Seth Funny Status Messages

   My spirit animal would run into a screen door.

   My six year old nephew asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.

   You think after making 58 mil last year, Bieber could buy a freakin belt.

   Attending community college without student aid has made me realize some things. 1. Never rely on the bus as your only form of transport. Buses break down. 2. Mixing Taco Bell sauce with Top Ramen tastes exactly like poverty.

   Posting pictures of a huge supply of hard liquor isn't going to impress anyone but your toxicologist.

   If you don't want me to bring party hats and confetti, don't include the word 'party' in "Search Party."

   Remember. Guns aren't illegal. We just want you to prove you're not a psychopath before you buy it.

   That hilarious moment when people are over taxed and act like its never happened before.

   If you still have a Romney sticker on your car, I got news that may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you. He lost.

   Nothing is worse than biting into a hot pocket than when your two front teeth slice through a gritty frozen meat ball.

   Ambercrombie and fitch said they are going to offer to pay the Jersey Shore cast to stop wearing their clothing. Nothing like one group of douchebags telling another group of douchebags to stop dressing like douchebags.