Name or @twittername Funny Status Messages

   I saw a scarecrow in a field havin' a wank the other day, impossible I thought as he was just clutching at straws.....

   Laughter is the jam on the toast of life; it adds flavour, keeps it from becoming too dry, and makes it easier to swallow.

   Now if I could just get my Facebook account to dispense Tim Horton's coffee...

   thinks scare-crows should get Nobel prizes because they are out standing in their field