Mr Craig Funny Status Messages

   I think its my mom's birthday. I should unblock her on facebook and check.

   Breaking News: 36% of Witches are indicating it is cold out.....

   My wife says I'm "Immature"... just because I snuck up behind her when she was reading her "Romance" novel and made kissing sounds.....

   My "Baggage" flies on a broom and smells of brimstone...

   Don't worry if you think you're crazy, even the tall oak trees were once nuts.

   ♫ ♪ ♫♫ He ain't Peyton. ♪ ♫ ♫ He's his Brother ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

   "Pay me now Round Eyes" kinda ruins that delightful happy ending moment

   Breaking News: New Chinese TV leaks just enough radiation so you get a gorgeous tan while watching

   Wife: "I lost 5 pounds this month" Me: "I lose 5 pounds when a take a dump" Wife: Maybe you should take more dumps

   your eye's sparkle like a bass boat in the sunshine.....

   I like my women like I like my coffee...hot and bitter!

   Gravity, is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Magnetism , Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

   Enjoy life and don't think about it. There's nothing we can do but have fun with what time we have.

   It's not an old movie if you haven't seen it.

   Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then-we elected them.

   Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything

   A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain

   I've got a brand new attitude, and I'm gonna wear it tonight

   LENO GIVER - When someone retires from a legendary television franchise, passes the torch to a worthy successor. Then he gets bored and starts a new show which stinks and then asks for their old job back by firing the successor." He's a leno giver"

   A snowman is the perfect man. He's very well rounded and comes with his own broom. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.......somewhere else please.