Jason Biaza Funny Status Messages

   I'm trying to get back to my original weight. 7 lbs 9 oz

   In a perfect world you would be able to mark people as spam in real life.

   sorry I'm drunk and I posted the same status twice....oopsy!

   I never make the same mistake twice.... I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.

   I never make the same mistake twice.....I make it 5 or 6 times just to be sure.

   I will respect any religion you practice as long as you don't knock on my door and tell me about it.

   They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?

   If you don't care where you are then your not lost.

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments or a court date.

   I f I have am erection that lasts longer than 4 hours, I'm not calling a doctor...I'm calling a film crew!

   Ever notice that "What the Hell" is always the right decision?

   I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part of.

   I have taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me...send money.

   (beep) (beep) (beep) You have reached a status that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. I you feel this message is an error, please log off and try your comment again. Thank You.

   Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

   After everything I've been through.... This can't possibly be "as real as it gets"!