Haha Funny Status Messages

   A cult is an unpopular religion. A religion, is a popular cult. It's a cult. You're a cult member.

   What does it say for Climate when the NHL ice hockey playoffs are played during the Summer between one team in Florida and the other in the dessert?

   Red sox clinch world series. L.A. Dodgers won't have to go to white house. So who's the real winner?

   With all the Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas iteam for sale at the sametime in the stores they should call it Hallogivemas sale.

   Kids, here's how to get double candy on Halloween. Put on your costume. Then cover it with a sheet. Go to door the first time as ghost. Take sheet off go back again with other costume. Bam double candy. Happy Halloween.

   Halloween is like any other day. People pretending to be someone their not.

   I'm so old that the only room I can go into and remember why is the bathroom.

   . A Hypochondriac is a person who can't leave well enough alone.

   When the police shut down the town brothel. There was a sign that read, beat it, this brothel is closed.

   Light travels faster then sound. This is why some people appear bright untill you hear them speak.

   Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?..... Because neither one of them had a mother in-law.

   The lack of hair is the main cause of baldness.

   What do yot get when you slip in water?............ A waterfall.

   I'm trying to get my MIL to go ice fishing before the ice get too thick.

   I didn't get the president's alert test tex, but I did get a tex, two big macs, fish filet, large fry, large diet coke.

   Every time I feel like saying something I shouldn't . I ask my self, what would the president do? Then I go head and say it.

   .. HIJKLMNO is the chemical formula for water, right? ...... H to O

   ... Not all fairy tales start with "Once upon a time." Some start with "If I am elected president."

   My girlfriend cured me of my constipation by telling me she thought she was pregnant.

   Maybe people would be more concerned about saving the planet if chocolate and coffee were on the endangered list.