Canadian25 Funny Status Messages

   You can meet 10 girls, mess with 9, talk to 8, laugh with 7, run behind 6, like 5, go out with 4, get used to 3, care about 2, but only love 1.

   Subway: Where women make sandwiches for men without complaining.

   I got stopped by a lady doing a survey today. She said, "What household chore annoys you the most?" I said, "Having to turn down the telly to tell my wife to do the hoovering."

   When a girl is in love, she offers sex. when a guy wants sex, he offers love.

   Why did they introduce women into the police force? To keep the streets clean

   I'm having a problem with sexual harassment at work. There isn't any.

   Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship? Neither, they both eat out

   Her: "Ugh! Let me tell you about m......" Me: "Is my zipper down?" Her: ".....no..." Me: "Then why is your mouth open?

   Privacy is very important to me. That is why I only share sensitive information with my closest 480 friends on Facebook.

   My wife is like a tree She falls down after being hit repeatedly with an Axe.

   What do you get when you toss a ball into a cage full of monkeys? NBA

   Nudists need to be exposed for what they are.

   cakes 66p Upside down cakes 99p

   My wife said, "You always blame everyone else when things go wrong" I said.."And whose fault is that?"

   Science Question: How do stars die? Drugs normally

   Chasing the American Dream does not count as excercise

   If there are 3 Apples on the Table and Jamal takes 2 Apples. What colour is Jamal?

   On my laptop, sticky keys are always on.

   I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone. Everyone knows the black one runs faster.

   Girls: just remember each morning when you put on makeup- somewhere in the world a clown is starting his day doing exactly the same thing.