BONNIE Funny Status Messages

   Royal Wedding+Media=Dead Horse

   OK, I'm going to admit it. Its been bugging me for about 10 years now and I need to get it off my chest. I let the dogs out.

   A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of my old bills.

   Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A. We better get some support or people will think we're nuts.

   Best three Kings of all time!! Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

   SHOW your true colors... and let people paint a picture of you.

   I'm kinda like pizza - even when I'm bad I'm good!

   I won't get angry at you today... I just learned it's "Be kind to Animals Week"!

   My liver is so cute when it's all like... "Oh God!!! someone please help me!"

   WHOOOAAA!!! I smell the strong stench of "MONDAY" brewing!!

   I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.

   S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.

   ROMANTIC IDEA: Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!

   Really suffering from PMS today - Premature Monday Syndrome.

   It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.

   Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

   You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

   Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

   Honk if you love peace and quiet.

   A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.