Akom Funny Status Messages

   I sat in my stand for hours with not one deer coming by. Then in a matter of minutes, I bag 4 big bucks! Thanks to the Deer Hunter Game, my morning wasn't a total loss.

   Anyone who's says, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", has obviously never gone through a divorce.

   Maybe it's just me, but I don't mind when a woman gives me the silent treatment...I can finally hear the t.v. then!

   I was at a bar lasy night where the women were so ugly, it took 50 shades of grey goose to make them look good.

   According to the Amcash commercials, I only need my checkbook and last paystub. Apparently, your last paystub from October 2011 doesn't count!

   I just randomly chose 5 homes and placed "For Sale" "Open House Tonight at 6pm" signs in the front yards. Now I sit and wait for the fun to begin.

   Scientists are baffled... Snooki, the tallest of the Oompa Loompa's, is pregnant! They didn't think anything human could possibly live in her!