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We should start a cult. You know, for tax purposes. 
I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping: 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size
A friend of mine drowned at the beach. The Coast Guard asked me to identify the body. I said duh, it's the Atlantic Ocean.
I can't be the only one who hasn't seen a Taylor Swift video
it just me or has Aunt Jimmah lost weight?
Before you go driving thru flood water, remember water made the Grand Canyon.
I thought Hurricane Harvey was the miss Universe thing
See what happens when you name a hurricane after a man! He won't ask directions, wanders around lost, leaves a mess and doesn't clean up after himself!
Feeling down? Just play your wedding tape backwards and you'll feel better.
I always felt like a boy trapped inside a woman’s body… then I was born.
When my ex eats alphabet soup she chokes on the D!!!
If two vegans had an argument, is it still beef?
Lynn Yaeger? Never heard of him.
Taylor Swift should have grabbed that microphone from Kanye and said "Sorry, but Martin Luther King Jr. had the best speech of all time."
Does anyone really ever listen to the wedding march melody? Dumb dumb de dumb ...... Dumb dumb de dumb.
No I am not aware Taylor Swift has a new album because I don't listen to trash. I throw it out.
People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .
Does any one cares about KKK, white supremacy, Neo-Nazi, illigal immigrants, Confederate Statues in Houston? Just asking for a friend
Woman cradles and protects child. Man carries and protects both. This is how it ought to be, despite what your gender studies professor says.
Pastor Joel Osteen won't open his Houston ⛪ church that can hold 16,000 for hurricane victims because it only provides shelter from taxes. 