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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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You don't have to like me, because I'm gonna force you to eventually.
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10-03-2011 16:12 by
Marshall the Great
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Ever want to smash someones face in with a jar of mayonnaise? I do all the time.
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10-03-2011 16:11 by
Marshall the Great
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. After I have slept with you once I will avoid you.
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10-03-2011 16:08 by
Marshall the Great
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In the strange event that you are buying condoms. Make sure they say 'bareskin' and not 'bearskin' trust me on this one.
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10-03-2011 16:06 by
Marshall the Great
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I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
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10-03-2011 12:56 by
Marshall the Great
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There's something fishy about this cucumber I'm eating.......
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10-03-2011 12:55 by
Marshall the Great
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There's no "I" in meat, but there's "me" and "eat", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic.
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10-03-2011 12:51 by
Marshall the Great
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Someone was a horrible person in their past life.. and was then reincarnated as my liver.
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10-03-2011 12:46 by
Marshall the Great
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FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
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10-03-2011 12:45 by
Marshall the Great
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Being funny on Facebook at 2 a.m. is like seeing a UFO... no one gets to see it or believes you.
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10-03-2011 12:42 by
Marshall the Great
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The show "Toddlers and tiaras" was named that way because "Strippers in training" and "Mothers with self esteem issues" just wasn't as catchy.
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10-03-2011 12:38 by
Marshall the Great
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you know it wasn't always called bipolar, it once was called being a b!tch
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10-03-2011 12:37 by
Marshall the Great
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I liked you a lot more before I met you.
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10-03-2011 12:35 by
Marshall the Great
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I delete the recent history from my profile for the same reasons I don't go to church. It gives people the wrong impression and it makes Jesus roll his eyes.
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10-03-2011 12:29 by
Marshall the Great
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My life wasn't complete until I met you,,,,,,, You COMPLETELY ruined it. Thanks...
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10-03-2011 12:22 by
Marshall the Great
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Who the f*ck threw this "work" thing right in the middle of my Facebook time? Am I being Punked?
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10-03-2011 12:19 by
Marshall the Great
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She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of 10 said their place.
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10-03-2011 12:17 by
Marshall the Great
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Rolling a piece of toilet paper up and sticking it in your ear and just letting it hang there makes it awkward for people to talk to you.
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10-03-2011 12:14 by
Marshall the Great
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If Monday had a gender it would be female... they are always a b!tch. If they were easy, it'd be a slut.
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10-03-2011 12:10 by
Marshall the Great
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it rude to throw an Altoid in someone's mouth while they are talking?
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10-02-2011 21:22 by
Marshall the Great
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