migasjoe Funny Status Messages

   told my son he should drink plenty of electrolytes in this heat, he responded by asking me if I drink beer for the electrolytes

   I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my Doctor calls them, symptoms...

   I married my wife for her looks, just not the ones she has been giving me lately

   I'm going to get in shape, pear is a shape...right???

   Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, thew shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed

   I don't have pet peeves-I have major psychotic f##cking hatreds!!!

   I have washboard abs. They just happen to have a little laundry on them...

   OK-all those that believe in psyco kinesis raise my hand

   Really!!! Kim Kardashian is upset with the Casey Anthony verdict!!! Your father defended OJ Simpson, Thus starting the Kardashian tradition of getting black men off!!!

   if you put pictures of lost kids on Beer Cans instead of Milk Cartons we'd find them in about 15 minutes

   Money can't buy you happiness but I'd rather be unhappy and in a Bentley

   the art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook!!!

   just told my kids about the Casey Anthiny verdict and that if they didn't shape up I was moving the family to Florida

   writing about music is like dancing about architecture

   I have a buddy that is a vegetarian not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!!!

   eventually we all stop lying about our age and start bragging about it!!!

   how come when we talk to God we are praying...when God talks to us we are schizophrenic

   some days 25 to life just seems like it would be worth it!!!!!

   vacation plans this year include a state wide convienence store hot dog tasting tour this summer

   taking applications and will soon be conducting interviews for anyone that is interested on giving my euology