anonymous Funny Status Messages

   the wizzard of ahhhs

   "remember kids. If approached by a bear, rub your body with blueberry syrup and salmon."

   the swine flu. damn you porky pig.

   i am sick , radiating moon beams from my television ..reinforce my mass produce neurosis .....filter through bacon pies and and down spouts of grease help my shoes walk another day ..pass fears and smiles of everyday people

   will be taking cpr and first aid tomorrow. after that, let me know if you need assistance

   has no problem applying Icy Hot to all the sensitive areas.

   an over stock of duck sausage, why don't you come duck down and get you some.

   9000 POEPLE ARE HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW...2000 ARE KISSING...1000 ARE ENJOYING ORAL... AND ONE LONELY F##KER IS READING MY STATUS......YOU HANG IN THERE SUNSHINE

   always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower for cryin' out loud!

   1) Scroll to the bottom of your Facebook page. 2) On the bottom left corner, click English: US. 3) When the language selection appears, click English: Pirate. 4) watch what happens.

   thinks they need to have a twelve-step help group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.

   printing off a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills

   the reason you get up in the morning <3

   me? addicted to facebook? naah... (why isnt anybody commenting on this status!!! I'm waiting for the red number to pop up)...

   kicking names and taking asses

   wondering if Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

   sick and tired of being sick and tired

   bringing all the boys to the yard.

   havin' a 3some tonight... still have room for 2 more.

   spitting on the back of your neck.