JBabcock Funny Status Messages

   I work 2 jobs so my family won't be homeless. Ironically with all the extra shifts I'm home less.

   My Wife:"Honey the sales add says the dealership will make it easy for husbands to get a new car for their spouse this weekend!" Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."

   The person who coined the phrase "Laughter is the best medicine" probably never received Demerol during his hospitalization.

   Told one of my favorite co-workers she drew her eyebrows on a little too high one morning a few years back. I've never forgotten how surprised she looked.

   Abercrombie and Fitch telling the Jersey Shore Cast that wearing their brand makes the brand look scuzzy is a lot like Lindsay Lohan telling Paris Hilton that her partying antics make talentless famous starlets look like trash.

   ...3346,3347,3348,3349- DAMN SHEEP I WISH THEY'D DO THEIR DAMN JOBS!!!! *sigh*...3350,3351,3352...

   I'm so exhausted from work that I actually tried to use "The Force" to get the remote to come to me. When it didn't work I used the old Jedi Mind Trick sayin "These arent the droids your looking for give me the remote". My son did while rollin his eyes.

   Games Nursing Staff HATE playing on at a Nursing Home: 5) Ollie, Ollie Ijustpeed 4) Guess what's on My Shoe 3) Here we go Loopty Poo 2)Red Light, Green Light: A Game of Incontinence Care 1) Follow the Leaker

   People always say to me "Oh your a Male Nurse". My professions the ONLY one with a need to identify gender. Ya never hear "A Male Mailman handles my Mail". How would a Cop react if after pulling you over said smiling "Ooooh a MALE policeman!"

   The 6 LEAST POPULAR Nursing Home Games:6 Simon says Something Incoherent 5.Pin the Toupee on Baldy 4. Hide and Go Pee 3. Musical Dentures 2. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over 1 And of course Kick the Bucket.

   I'm certain that the reason that God made Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.

   Why sure you can trust the Government. Just ask a Native American.

   Summer Vacation begins to spiral downward when your Dad says "Let's go this way. I know a shortcut."

   Judges who judge judgemental judging are often judged judgementally the way they judged. Judging other judgemental judges only brings greater judgement. Judgemental judging as you can easily judge is harsh judgement. Therefore Judge not lest ye be judged!

   3 Things Every New Nurse should know: 1) never get "eye level' to measure a sore on someone's bottom. 2) Yawning during tracheotomy care is BAD 3) Always smell an Apple Juice in the Nurses fridge before drinking or serving.