Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Throw a drink at Tomi Lahren? In this economy? 
Personal trainer: Abs are made in the kitchen. Me: so was this pie
I spent alot of time trying to get all of my eldest relatives together in one room with no luck............. Then BINGO
Where do babies like to go for lunch....... Hooters
I wonder if dogs ever wake up in the morning and think "dear god please don't take me jogging with you today"?
How does the Hamburglar introduce his girlfriend....... Meet Patty.
Mom #1: That's it. I've had it. I'm selling my kid on eBay. Mom #2: Don't be silly. You made him. Sell him on etsy.
When I was a kid my parents would say "You'll understand when you're older." Well now I'm older and I still don't understand.
What type of car does an electrician drive........ A Volts-wagon.
Canadian sex is like American sex but with more apologizing and less guns.
. When Chewbacca needs to go does he use a toilet, or dose Han Solo take him for a walk?
There’s a tunnel at the end of the light
Morgan Freeman will be the narrator at his own trial.
Florida and Texas send out a zombie alert to residents.
Starcents, it's like Starbucks only cheaper.
Will Starbucks become a homeless shelter with their new store policy?
(inventor of the ladder) I’m gonna french kiss that giraffe
*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy
Can we talk about how crabs are too much stress for the little meat they give?
Cruelty is people with back pain having to bend over at the pharmacy to get a tube of Bengay from the bottom shelf. 