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would give his right arm to be ambidexious 
took the "How good are you at Making love" quiz and it asked me for my phone number
Says women will never be as successful as men because they don't have wives to advise them
thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple coins to the pavement in town and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, the police were watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing UK currency
crapping. But then decided to change her status.
chasing parked cars.
you dont need drugs to be dope!!
Bob the builder! can we fix it?!!......no this time we're screwed
tall, dark and handsome
If you don't talk to your cat about catnip.....who will?
- This just in. I have been certified by the Guinness Book of World Records for surpassing Wilt Chamberlin's record of 20,000. My bed post just received its 20,001 mark on it.
I looked away to not sneeze on my keyboard, and sneezed on the fan and it went in my face
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
very tired (yawn) and hopes he doesn't fall asleep on (yawn) his keyboardddddddddddddddddddddddd
don't piss down his back and tell him it's raining.
looks so much cuter with something in her mouth
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
Streakers beware: Your end is in sight!
having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to church!!! 