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accentuating the best and capitalizing the rest.... 
just got his new Dale Jr. GPS... in a quarter mile, take a left...in a quarter mile, take a left...in a quarter mile, take a left...in a quarter mile, take a left...
riding your discostick
helping Dora get to Mermaid Island
likes you. He will kill you last.
thinks that if you insist on being that fat, atleast tuck you belly in.
a sucker with no self-esteem....ooooo aaaayyyy yaaa aaa yaaa ayyy aaa yeaaa
will grow up one day...just not today
loves automatic doors. they make him feel like a jedi
found that while laying on his back he can... ¡dod ɐpos dıs uɐɔ
people are really clever on facebook they always now what day it is and they always want to tell you its friday
the funny thing about this message is that one you realize its pointless its too late to stop ;)
cooler then the other side of the pillow
Who wants to go drink some vodka?
Jon & Kate's marital counselor.
Wishes life had an 'UNDO' option....
everytime I type "revise" in predictive text, it comes up "retire". My phone predicted correct.
wonders if crematoriums offer discounts for burn victims
not doing what Simon says
strained his left testicle at the gym, and is now sitting on an angle to ease the pain. 