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thinking the sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette 
a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it
just lost my job at the Orange Juice factory...I couldn't concentrate
typed this with her toes.
Drugs may lead to nowhere but at least it's the scenic route.
Whiskey is yellow, Vodka is clear, but I ain't got neither of those so I'm just setting here drinkin' a beer.
Now I lay me down to sleep with an empty bottle of vodka at my feet if I die before I wake tell my girls I drank it straght.
Sex is a Sensation caused by a Temptation, when a guy sticks his Location in a girls Destination, to Increase population for the next Generation....You get my Explanation or need a Demonstration?
Help I've fallen and I can't reach my beer.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not.
The liver is evil. It must be punished
has xray vision and knows that you aren't wearing any underwear..
moment of 'temporary insanity' is scheduled for everyone at different intervals
even if it kills me, i'm still gonna smile!
says remember: some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue.
if life hands you lemons, make lemonade...then wash a XANAX down with it!
taking a vacation from facebook for a week, I'll be in youtube visiting friends and family. Ciao Ciao
OMG will it ever end with the celebrity deaths first David Carradine, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, some weird looking plastic guy, Walter Cronkite, Steve McNair, and NOW GIDGET the Chihuahua from Taco Bell and legally blond 2 fame. NOOOOOOOOOO
polling as many bears as he can to find out if they really crap in the woods, or if they go by a tree like in the charmin commecials!!!
People hang on my every word, even the prepositions. I could disarm you with my looks... or my hands... either way. I can speak French... in Russian. I am 'The Most Interesting Man in the World'. 