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: Everyone wants to be happy, nobody wants to be in pain but you can't have a rainbow without any rain .. 
Obviously delicious. Secretly nutritious .
The FIA are constantly looking for ways to slow down modern Formula 1 cars, why haven't they tried wrapping hair and fluff around the rear wheel axles? It used to work on my Scalextric
THE BIG Issue would sell a lot more copies if they made their vendors smarten up a bit. Most of them look like tramps.
on safari lookin at lions. I was on firefox lookin at porn.
things could be worse ya know....Sex COULD be fattening!
.....Squirrels: Nature's Little Speed Bumps!
wondering what would happen if he wrote, "For Marijuana" in the memo field of all his checks? ...
converting oxygen into carbon dioxide...come to think of it...so are you!!! GREAT LUNGS THINK ALIKE!
Doesn't have a drinking problem, he drinks he, gets drunk, he falls down, no probablem....
if NFL doesn't want Michael Vick back....my local animal shelter is looking for a pooper scooper!
if you die in a elevator....press the UP button!
T.V man came to the door. He said. You got a TV licence? I said no. Well you've got a Ariel he said. I replied I've milk in the fridge to but don't have a cow.
reporting live from Suburbia. Where they cut down all the trees and name roads after them.
wonders if a guy stands up in church to disagree with the priest...is he called a mass debator?
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
Earth is full. Go home.
For Sale: (year you were born here) (your name here). Has a lot of mileage, but still rides like a dream.
it's been 06837 days since the last time I gave a crap
taking his 1st Karate lesson today @ the Ho Lee Chit Karate School 