bill Funny Status Messages

   I remain concerned that without Internet access, the people of Egypt may not know that Charlie Sheen is okay.

   Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco to change last name back to Johnson. This must be one of the big changes promised by the team......WTF!!

   Early preview of tonight's State Of The Union speech: It sucks. We're broke. Quit bitching. Goodnight.

   Early preview of tonight's State Of The Union: It sucks. We're broke. Quit *itching. Goodnight.

   can't afford these gas prices anymore..... I'm charging up Leroy's Buzz Lightyear car and leaving for work 4 hours early tonight.

   If all this Global Warming keeps up, I think Atlanta may have to add to it's fleet of 8 snow-plows......

   Wishing the King a happy 76th Birthday, where ever he is.....

   Obama thinks that $172,000 a year is a modest salary. Scratching my head .....I want a modest salary!!!

   “Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.” - Mark Twain

   The new 'Huckleberry Finn' - where Jim is shackled, beaten & kept as human livestock, but nobody calls him any bad words.

   Easy explanation for dead birds falling from sky...they keep hitting Wonder Woman's invisible jet.

   With all these birds falling out the sky, I won't be eating Chinese anytime soon....

   500 birds fell out of sky in Louisiana too? OK that's it, something crazy is going on. Where's Fox Mulder when you need him?

   Somewhere there's an alien cleaning bird poo off his spaceship right now.

   There are only two possibilities why so many birds died all at once. A government conspiracy testing a new weapon, or the birds flew into the side of a UFO as the UFO was watching all the pretty fireworks that supposedly scared the birds to death.....

   What kills me is the say the birds and fish in Arkansas all died simultaneously due to stress...What stress, do they over due bills to pay or something??

   To any and all people visiting Arkansas in the next few days, just ignore all the dead birds and fish! Really, it should be fine....From, Big Brother : )

   It appears to me that Brett Favre was fined $25k per inch in the Jen Sterger affair.....

   Wow!! Scientists have created mice from two males. Sadly, the mice cannot ask, nor tell, about it. ....

   I was about to beat up a toddler until I saw everyone's cartoon Facebook pics and got an overwhelming urge to stop.