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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. 
Why is it that people always point to their wrist when they ask what time it is? I don't see them pointing to their ass when they ask where that bathroom is!!!
I've got no problem buying tampons. I'm a modern man. But apparently, they're not a "proper present".
If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I'd just yell out letters.
Ive not seen such a guilty face since I finished my jigsaw of O J Simpson
No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off "I Don't Like Mondays" for 30 years.
there anything sadder than seeing someone with a dog picking up dog sh*t? Actually, maybe somebody without a dog!
I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
Venus Williams has brought something different to the women's game – male genitalia.
I live in an apartment with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
Beepedy,beep beep....
An email virus caused millions of dollars in damages to home computers around the world this week. Time for some pay back...lets all punch a Nerd in the face!
I'm not a drunk. I just play one under the TV.
If your in my circle, Congratulations your a HAPPY person.
is wondering on which day God created Justin Bieber... couldn't he have rested on that day too?
doing a study on paranoia by following people around town in my white Crown Vic with 4
Some Guy told me he had 6 pack abs but there was this thing covering them kinda jelly like. I said its called Fat!
trading in his Chevy for a Cadillac-ack-ack-ack-ack
Men like to play pool because they want to know how it feels to hold a big stick and some big balls
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