Funny Status Messages

   I am tired of being an adult... Can't I just play all day!?

   Really? If you can pee that high, DEFINITELY join the fire brigade. Yah

   What the f**k's wrong with your face?! Christ on a bike, next time you're smiling, warn me

   Genius - The ability to produce fantastic amounts of equally fantastic bullsh*t that all makes perfect sense

   How much for the frog? No, that one.... No, THAT one. Goddammit, how much for the frog, that one with the tail?... Well excuse me! How much for the lizard then

   Whoever invented calories is gonna get their face f***ed with ice cream cake.. .

   Buffalo wings? Are you insane? Those cows can't fly. It's a lie, I tell you

   Life's a beach....and i'm playing in the sand...

   so my xgirlfriend just caught me banging her sister, this is a good time for the kool-aid guy to jump through the wall

   my girlfriend just popped in on trying on her bra's.. this would be a good time for me to shove a twix in my month

   just kicked off of public transportation

   time for all the bloodsuckers to come out again...not Halloween...election time

   9 out of 10 guys likes girls with big boobs. The 10th guy likes the other 9 guys

   I have no problem texting and driving. Now texting while walking downstairs, that stuff is dangerous!

   (f*-*)f(f*-*)f(f*-*)f <<Thriiiller!!!

   Seriously! It should be a lot harder to find people for the show 16 and Pregnant. . . Teens, maybe you should find a different hobby?

   Please put this as your status if you know, or are related to, someone killed on Alderaan when it was obliterated by the Death Star. The Rebel Alliance wants to bring peace to the galaxy, but the Galactic Empire continues to kill innocent civilians. 93% w

   When I flush spiders down the toilet, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm simply letting them experience their own private Raging Waters.

   so, what are you going to be for halloween? well, I was thinking about being, well, intoxicated

   Thinking they need to make pro football and basketball coaches wear uniforms like baseball coaches do.