Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5421 of 5593

   messageicon Facebook will soon have to come with a warning label so they don't get sued! "Warning Facebook may cause some losers to stalk their ex's and cause them to have an asthma attack. If you have a tendency to be a stalker please do not use Facebook!"
←Rate | 11-18-2010 23:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 23:43 by TC Comments (0)  


   messageicon was looking for a date on Craigs list only to find out that "420 friendly" did not stand for maximum weight limit.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 22:48 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm Your Huckleberry
←Rate | 11-18-2010 22:19 by J Migas Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, no one wished me a happy birthday. I'm not suprised, today isn't my birthday
←Rate | 11-18-2010 22:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CoD...... Keeping teenage pregnancy down, since 2003.\
←Rate | 11-18-2010 21:43 by Alex King NZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Macaroni would be nothing if it weren't for cheese. Cheese, on the other hand, doesn't need macaroni to stay pimp. I think we all know who wears the pants in the macaroni and cheese relationship.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 21:07 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If things aren't going right, go left
←Rate | 11-18-2010 21:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need to quit worrying about small pox, and start worrying about big pox
←Rate | 11-18-2010 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody loved poor Rudolph, until his birth defect served a purpose...nice story for the kids
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:32 by tmdavies31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon found out that if you play a Justin Beiber album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber...
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:31 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Winter was alive, I would hunt it down and kill it..."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:12 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon is it just me, or are 80% of the faces in the "people you may know feature" on Facebook, people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:09 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I sneeze and you're sitting next to me, it is acceptable to bless me. If I sneeze and you're 50 feet across the room from me, no need to shout at me unless you're the pope."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:06 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎I don't remember anything from last night. Somebody must've put something in my drink". Yeah. If this was a game of Clue I'd have to go with "the bartender, In the club, with the vodka."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing's more satisfying than when "the one that got away" turns into "whew, dodged that bullet."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:02 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's tough to judge nonverbal cues from someone with an eyepatch. Did that pirate just wink at me or are they blinking?"
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:00 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 18:57 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when people start a whole conversation off you're status? C'mon guys, get a WALL!"
←Rate | 11-18-2010 18:56 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon What happens in an exam : Tik tok , Mind block , Pen stop , Eye pop , Full shock , Jaw drop , Time up , No Luck
←Rate | 11-18-2010 18:30 by mmZZ41n Comments (1)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left