Funny Status Messages

   getting a restraining order on Old Man Winter

   How do you spell "clitoris"? I don't know but I had it on the tip of my tongue a moment ago.

   Dear FB users, quit using lower case i's and quit putting them right in front (with no space) of the next consonant....it's not cute anymore.

   a Japanese Atheist. He doesn't believe in Godzilla.

   From what I can tell, a Boomerang is just a Frisbee for people who don't have any friends...

   Boy.... That sure is a lot of attitude for someone wearing panda ear rings.

   Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco to change last name back to Johnson. This must be one of the big changes promised by the team......WTF!!

   They should make Vodka ChapStick

   attention is the fuel that feeds immaturity.

   if you need any more proof that people's self perception is skewed, just look at their avatars. How you weigh 500 lbs but your avatar is 120 lbs. at best?

   come here girl,you trust me dont you ?"yes",good,now close your eyes and smile like a donut .

   Window shopping is a pane.

   2 tickets to Paradise and isn't taking you.

   Watching the movie 'Alive' is making me cold, thirsty and cannibalistic

   I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

   Mirrors don't talk, but lucky for you they don't laugh either

   Today's secret word is "Drama". If you hear somebody say it scream real loud and knock them out. Ready? Go try it.

   3 ways to die early. smoking = 5 years early. alcohol = 10 years early. loving someone who doesn't love you = you die daily.

   I am so happy to hear that curiousity killed the cat. For a while, I was the only suspect..

   if I could afford the wood I would have your mouth boarded up!!!