Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon and with a flick of my lighter, the dishes are done.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ~ Proud to be the winner of the sperm race ~
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:47 by predasa Comments (2)  


   messageicon I think American Idol could make it a little more interesting by adding a trap door.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:23 by Scott Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the future wedding vows will include "Do you take this person as your married to status link on Facebook?"
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon storming the Castle Anthrax all alone and doesn't want any back up!
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon watched numerous horror movies without so much as a flinch, but I just crapped a brick when the toast popped up out of the toaster.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:00 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If its any consolation, I didn't get lucky last night either.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 20:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why he must think of himself in the third-person to change his status.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 20:36 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went fishing for bottom feeders yesterday, and caught a R0unders!
←Rate | 01-27-2011 20:17 by Will Comments (5)  


   messageicon Ever have one of those days at work no matter who talks to you they sound the teacher from The Peanuts cartoons?
←Rate | 01-27-2011 20:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why am I still single? Because humans are not monogamous by nature.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im like cocaine: I'm white, highly addictive and ladies usually leave the bathroom with me on their face..
←Rate | 01-27-2011 20:00 by Steven Comments (0)  


   messageicon remembers the last thing a wise man said to me was "Help! I'm drowning!" I never knew what he meant by that tho... he was so wise.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 19:37 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon never be ashamed of who you are. Be ashamed of some of your Facebook friends. Eeek! Some of you are scary looking.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On Tuesday night, I skipped seeing The President of the United States of America to see The Presidents of the United States of America. It was the right call.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue, friend requests are good but who the hell are you?!?
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:01 Comments (0)  



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