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Why does every wireless provider say that they have the best, fastest, most covered 4G network? Someone's lying.
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02-07-2011 20:30 by
Marshall the Great
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When I really like a girl, I take her home to meet my parents so she understands why I can never get married.
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02-07-2011 20:29 by
Marshall the Great
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Watching Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod popcorn at the superbowl made me wish I was blind.
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02-07-2011 20:29 by
dumpmonkey
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I put my Xbox Achievments on College Applications. I got accepted to Princeton
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02-07-2011 20:22
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Working out sucks...maybe I'll just spring for liposuction and 639 muscle implants.
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02-07-2011 20:13 by
Shawnee
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alot of people believe they came from monkeys...im not going to argue with them.
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02-07-2011 19:49
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So I know it was kind of wicked of me to make chocolate chip cookies when you are on a diet, but I licked them all when they came out of the oven so you wouldn't be tempted.
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02-07-2011 19:25 by
Shawnee
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0
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at home snorting Dorito dust.
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02-07-2011 19:06 by
Frankenstein1966
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0
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It's amazing how quickly I can convince myself that I didn't need to do today the things I needed to do today.
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02-07-2011 16:04 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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If I ever mess anything up I am just gonna say, "It's not like I sung the national anthem wrong in front of the whole world or something."
90
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02-07-2011 16:00 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Ten bucks says Slash has no idea where he is.
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02-07-2011 15:57 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Everything happens for a reason, and that reason is that life is totally random.
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02-07-2011 15:55 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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You think you know someone, but what you really know is only what they choose to show you.
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02-07-2011 15:54 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
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02-07-2011 15:53 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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When you refer to Ben Roethlisberger as being a "loser" in The Super Bowl, you DO NOT have to use the word "allegedly".
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02-07-2011 15:51 by
T Dubb
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0
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I think, therefore we have nothing in common.
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02-07-2011 15:51 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I miss the good ole days when moms wanted us home for dinner she didn't have to use a cell. Her speed dial was yelling "time to eat" out the window.
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02-07-2011 15:30
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0
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Ah the warm feeling when you see your ex has gotten fat.
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02-07-2011 15:25
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0
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Curse you jalepeno poppers, CURSE YOU! Why do you have to taste so good and hurt me so bad?
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02-07-2011 14:59
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I tried to look up the Kelly Blue Book value of my car and it said before it could tell me it needed to know how much gas was in it....
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02-07-2011 14:55 by
scottyp
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0
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