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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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For the last time people....... I'm not fat! I am just so full of sexy that it over flows... There is a difference!
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05-14-2012 05:41 by
Marshall the Great
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Always have faith and believe in yourself........well... because... the rest of us think you're an idiot!!!
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05-14-2012 05:40 by
Marshall the Great
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The only thing worse than reading your status is having to look at your stupid ass profile picture next to it.
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05-14-2012 05:35 by
Marshall the Great
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Why is it that on Sunday when I say ”I can't, I have to be good at work tomorrow” I do anyway and I'm never good at work tomorrow?
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05-14-2012 05:27 by
Marshall the Great
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"Jacuzzi" - a Swedish word that loosely translates to "sweating underwater".......
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05-14-2012 05:22 by
Marshall the Great
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The world would be a much better place if everyone just did what I told them to do and stopped asking so many stupid questions.
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05-14-2012 05:21 by
Marshall the Great
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If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
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05-11-2012 10:31 by
Marshall the Great
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They have auto-steer and auto-park on new cars, but I would like to see auto-drivemydrunkass homefromthebar.
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05-11-2012 10:25 by
Marshall the Great
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Men think about sex every seven seconds. The rest of the time is spent trying to come with a lie when a woman asks, "What are you thinking?"
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05-11-2012 10:24 by
Marshall the Great
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Money means nothing to me. If you don't believe me, just ask me for money. You'll get nothing.
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05-10-2012 14:40 by
Marshall the Great
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Just saw a t-shirt that said "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" which translated to "Hey, I've got a small pen!s and a stupid shirt."
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05-10-2012 13:34 by
Marshall the Great
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Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
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05-10-2012 13:32 by
Marshall the Great
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This girl I know asked her plastic surgeon to put jewels in with her fake boobs so she can have a treasure chest.
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05-10-2012 02:06 by
Marshall the Great
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The places where I think up the best jokes are usually in the shower and while driving... It must have something to do with being naked.
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05-09-2012 22:52 by
Marshall the Great
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I had a toy drive yesterday. I ran over all the toys the brats next door left in my yard.
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05-09-2012 14:31 by
Marshall the Great
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I believe in life after death, so I'm hoping my ex comes back as me, so I can get my stuff back.
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05-07-2012 22:33 by
Marshall the Great
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When your drunk, leftovers aren't so bad....... this may or may not be about food.
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05-07-2012 22:32 by
Marshall the Great
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0 mutual friends, you're not even from my country, how the f*ck did you find me!?
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05-07-2012 22:27 by
Marshall the Great
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Wow, you look EXACTLY like this girl I finger banged behind a Wendys back in high school. Anyway, I'm Will and I'm here for the job interview.
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05-07-2012 22:25 by
Marshall the Great
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Stealing candy from a baby is actually pretty hard....... They always have adult friends nearby....... and they're loud snitches.......
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05-07-2012 22:08 by
Marshall the Great
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